DIY Weddings, When They Don't Work!

I'm a very experienced wedding consultant and have worked with clients from small elopements to over the top weddings with all the bells and whistles. Be warned, when it comes to your wedding, do you really want to trust the details, set up, clean up and remembering everything wedding to untrained non-professionals on your wedding day? I'm talking about your friends and family! Will they bring your vision to life while in their wedding attire, wanting to enjoy your wedding day with family, and trust me, they really don't want to spend a lot of money on travel, accommadations and time to attend your wedding to work as your "free" labor for the day.

I recently assisted a couple who wanted to do it all. The groom after his wedding asked me to post a blog about their experience as they did not enjoy their wedding and trusting others to do all the work was not a good idea after all.They trusted their family and friends who really didn't want to make the bouquets or pick up the rentals of chairs, dance floor and glassware for the reception. Here's what happened and a few tips:

1. The couple designed the centerpieces from tree branches, with glitter, snowflakes, and plastic snow for the tables. They wanted their August theme of a winter wedding to be carried throughout their wedding. Tip: Trust the professionals;listen to your wedding planner and believe them when they tell you "your design in not tastful". If you want a winter wedding, get married in the winter. Too much of a bad thing is just bad.

2. Hire staff. Thinking your family and friends really want to bus tables, take out the trash, and cook the food (yes, they expected their family and friends to prepare, cook and serve the food), I can tell you they do not. The tables were filled with food, plates, glasses and trash by the end of the evening. No one cleaned up the broken glass and spilted beverages on the floors, causing a hazard to the guests. No one wiped down the bathrooms, attended to the couple for their needs on their wedding day.The guests wanted to eat, dance and enjoy the evening, not work all night long.

 

3. You won't always save money in the long run and sometimes it will cost you more. This couple ended up losing their security deposit for the facility because they didn't get out of the facility by the end of the time alotted for their reception. They lost money when their rentals weren't returned on time and they lost money thinking some of the items their friends were going to provide, didn't materialize, including a huge box truck to pick up their chairs for the ceremony, decor for the ceremony and reception and bring items back.

4. Professionals are on time and work hard to do a great job for you. Your family and friends don't have the sense of urgency and timing that professionals have. This couple gave a detailed timeline for their wedding party to assist with set up of both the ceremony and reception sites. No one arrived to assist with set up, making the groom on his wedding day do all the heavy lifting, pick up and delivery of items. He was two hours late and stressed more than he cared to be on his wedding day. Remember, your vendors are under contract and work based on a time frame for the day. If you are two hours late for your own wedding, you just wasted two hours of your photographers time and other vendors. Your photograher won't stay an extra two hours because you are a nice couple. It's gonna cost ya! This applies to any and all vendors. Many of the guests waiting for the ceremony to start and with lack of communication left before the couple arrived. Your guest's time is valuable as well.

5. This couple wanted to blame their tragic wedding day on everyone else, but because of their choices, they have only themselves to blame. They could have had the rental items delivered instead of trusting others to do this for them. It would have cost them $75 in addition to the rental cost instead of late fees and damaged items. They would have been on time had they had the staff to do the heavy lifting, but trusted people who just weren't into the set up, working the party and breaking things down at the end of the evening, The couples personal items had to be left outside at the end of the reception as no one was willing to stay behind and collect the couples gifts, champagne flutes, cake plateau, and left over food brought in. A lot of items were throw out and missing by the end of the night.

The groom let me know he did not enjoy his wedding day and was glad it was finally over. He enjoyed planning the wedding and making the items for the wedding, but knew they over extended themselves and guests thinking everyone would be as excited as they were with the details and wanting to help with the day. The guests weren't.  They wanted to be guests as the bride and groom wanted to feel special on their wedding day. The groom confessed a little DIY is great, but too much was just "too much!" He stated "I would never do that again and if a friend came to me asking me to assist with their DIY, I'll give them 101 reasons not to have a "Do It Yourself Wedding."