DIY Weddings, When They Don't Work!

I'm a very experienced wedding consultant and have worked with clients from small elopements to over the top weddings with all the bells and whistles. Be warned, when it comes to your wedding, do you really want to trust the details, set up, clean up and remembering everything wedding to untrained non-professionals on your wedding day? I'm talking about your friends and family! Will they bring your vision to life while in their wedding attire, wanting to enjoy your wedding day with family, and trust me, they really don't want to spend a lot of money on travel, accommadations and time to attend your wedding to work as your "free" labor for the day.

I recently assisted a couple who wanted to do it all. The groom after his wedding asked me to post a blog about their experience as they did not enjoy their wedding and trusting others to do all the work was not a good idea after all.They trusted their family and friends who really didn't want to make the bouquets or pick up the rentals of chairs, dance floor and glassware for the reception. Here's what happened and a few tips:

1. The couple designed the centerpieces from tree branches, with glitter, snowflakes, and plastic snow for the tables. They wanted their August theme of a winter wedding to be carried throughout their wedding. Tip: Trust the professionals;listen to your wedding planner and believe them when they tell you "your design in not tastful". If you want a winter wedding, get married in the winter. Too much of a bad thing is just bad.

2. Hire staff. Thinking your family and friends really want to bus tables, take out the trash, and cook the food (yes, they expected their family and friends to prepare, cook and serve the food), I can tell you they do not. The tables were filled with food, plates, glasses and trash by the end of the evening. No one cleaned up the broken glass and spilted beverages on the floors, causing a hazard to the guests. No one wiped down the bathrooms, attended to the couple for their needs on their wedding day.The guests wanted to eat, dance and enjoy the evening, not work all night long.

 

3. You won't always save money in the long run and sometimes it will cost you more. This couple ended up losing their security deposit for the facility because they didn't get out of the facility by the end of the time alotted for their reception. They lost money when their rentals weren't returned on time and they lost money thinking some of the items their friends were going to provide, didn't materialize, including a huge box truck to pick up their chairs for the ceremony, decor for the ceremony and reception and bring items back.

4. Professionals are on time and work hard to do a great job for you. Your family and friends don't have the sense of urgency and timing that professionals have. This couple gave a detailed timeline for their wedding party to assist with set up of both the ceremony and reception sites. No one arrived to assist with set up, making the groom on his wedding day do all the heavy lifting, pick up and delivery of items. He was two hours late and stressed more than he cared to be on his wedding day. Remember, your vendors are under contract and work based on a time frame for the day. If you are two hours late for your own wedding, you just wasted two hours of your photographers time and other vendors. Your photograher won't stay an extra two hours because you are a nice couple. It's gonna cost ya! This applies to any and all vendors. Many of the guests waiting for the ceremony to start and with lack of communication left before the couple arrived. Your guest's time is valuable as well.

5. This couple wanted to blame their tragic wedding day on everyone else, but because of their choices, they have only themselves to blame. They could have had the rental items delivered instead of trusting others to do this for them. It would have cost them $75 in addition to the rental cost instead of late fees and damaged items. They would have been on time had they had the staff to do the heavy lifting, but trusted people who just weren't into the set up, working the party and breaking things down at the end of the evening, The couples personal items had to be left outside at the end of the reception as no one was willing to stay behind and collect the couples gifts, champagne flutes, cake plateau, and left over food brought in. A lot of items were throw out and missing by the end of the night.

The groom let me know he did not enjoy his wedding day and was glad it was finally over. He enjoyed planning the wedding and making the items for the wedding, but knew they over extended themselves and guests thinking everyone would be as excited as they were with the details and wanting to help with the day. The guests weren't.  They wanted to be guests as the bride and groom wanted to feel special on their wedding day. The groom confessed a little DIY is great, but too much was just "too much!" He stated "I would never do that again and if a friend came to me asking me to assist with their DIY, I'll give them 101 reasons not to have a "Do It Yourself Wedding."

Intimate Mountain Wedding

We had the pleasure of working with a lovely couple and their families from out of state this weekend. The couple chose to have an intimate destination  wedding in the mountains of Colorado to downsize their number of guests and costs, but still have a romantic wedding with all the bells and whistles.

The Ceremony was outdoors in the meadows at Beano's Cabin in Beaver Creek. When the weather works out, the ceremony is magical. A small wedding party to include a Flower girl and Ring Bearer helped to make the ceremony charming. The summer breeze cooled us as the ceremony began. We watched the brides veil blow in the breeze added magic to the ceremony.

Cocktail hour remained outdoors with a full Sea Food Bar and signature drink of Champagne and summer raspberries. The cool mountain breeze continued through the cocktail hour, when the guests were invited inside for dinner.

As the guests entered the front cabin, they passed by the guest book table. We chose to use a Coffee Table book of Colorado Photos inviting the guests to leave a message and sign the pages in the book. The guests then passed by a hutch already existing in the cabin. We removed all the existing photos and figurines from the hutch and added the wedding photos of the couples family members including grandparents, parents, aunts and uncles, many of whom were present. All family members were honored to be featured.

The couple really wanted to have a Unity Candle Ceremony, but having a ceremony outdoors is a challenge to keep the candles lite in the winds. We decided to have the Unity Candle Ceremony in the dining room. We first enjoyed the couples Grand Entrance where they stood next to a table where we placed the two taper candles (family candles) and the larger unity candle. The bride and groom entered the room to applause. They gathered next to the Unity Candle table, where the Pastor explained the meaning of a Unity Candle Ceremony and the couple lite the candles. The meal was blessed by the Pastor and an amazing dinner began.

Dinner, toasting, cutting the wedding cake, and dancing all in the same room. The newlyweds could not have been happier. The family and friends present enjoyed time to speak with the couple, family and friends throughout the night. Small, intimate and very special. Nothing was left out!

Wedding Trends 2012-Part Two

Part Two:

DIY- As I mentioned before, DIY ("Do It Yourself") elements to a wedding are very popular right now. This allows the bride to add a little personal touch, which is tastefully done. This can also help cut wedding costs, while making the wedding seem more intimate. There are many resources available to help you accomplish whatever you want to do yourself. Examples: table numbers or place-cards, silly props for a photo booth, or little treats for goody-bags for your guests. Be careful that you don't bite off more than you can chew! You don't want to stress yourself out more before your big day and if you don't have the skill or talent to carry out our visions, you don't want to be disappointed by the result. Just make sure you will have time and FUN finishing your DIY tasks.

Menu- Nowadays, brides and grooms are choosing a very nontraditional, flavorful menu experience for their guests. Instead of your normal wedding buffet with chicken, rice, or pasta, couples are choosing elegant food such as gourmet salads, trays of cheeses, olives, and breads with savory dips, or fun buffets such as sushi bars, taco bars, or fajita bars. For evening snacks served later in the night, some people choose fun comfort foods with a classy twist such as pizza, sliders, pigs-in-a-blanket, or warm cookies with milk served in a shot glass. Also, many brides choose not only an elegant wedding cake, but many desserts, candy, and treats arranged tastefully on a table for guests to pick at throughout the night.

Vintage- Vintage never goes out of style! Vintage items allow you to make your wedding more personal and memorable as you reminisce about the past on your special day. Some people are choosing Second-Hand stores to purchase wedding gowns, veils, or shoes, some choose vintage lace, pearls, etc., while other brides choose to restructure and rewear family gowns. This is cost-effective, green-conscious, and celebrates your family's hertiage. Whatever heritage you have, whether it be Indian, German, Native American, or Jewish, integrate it into your ceremony and reception. Also, make sure to equally honor the heritages of both the bride and groom's sides of the family!

Above image: one of our couples. Shows a Jewish chuppah inside a Christian church, with both a rabbi and a priest who participated in the ceremony to honor both sides of the family.

These trends are some of the ways brides and grooms are finding more and more ways to personalize their weddings and make them unique and "out of the box" special. Give your guests something to talk about! Keep your guests entertained with props for dancing, playing funny games during dinner, or yard games during the reception. You can choose a band, a DJ, or both! Some brides choose to have a reception, as well as an afterparty at a bar at the hotel they are staying at. Use a sports announcement to both incorporate your favorite sports team and announce the couple during the grand entrance at the reception. Order the groom's cake using his favorite sports team logo and colors. Some brides opt for mismatched bridesmaids, either different colors, dress styles, or both! Also, since wedding days tend to be very busy, some couples have post-wedding photo shoots so they make sure to get all the pictures they want. For example, the wedding party might put on wedding attire the next day to take more casual photos, or some photographers offer packages that include First Anniversary photos! You can return to your wedding location, or just a place that is important to the two of you for one year anniversary photos. The possibilities are endless, so get creative, and add a little touch of YOU!

Above: One of our brides who chose adorable mismatched bridesmaids dresses.

Wedding Trends 2012-Part One

Yea! The beautiful, elegant, over-the-top with Do It Yourself touches for weddings are back and in a big way. I'm thrilled to let you in on what I'm seeing for weddings in 2012. So much to tell you, that I need to post it in two blogs. Enjoy!
Part One:

Colors- I love the color trends for 2012. They are soft, delicate "watercolor" tones of pinks, lavenders, blues, yellows and greens. You'll find these colors in the bridesmaid dresses, shoes, the florals for the reception as well as wedding party, and in the details of cakes, wedding favors and room lighting.

Design: "Rustic Chic", "Mountain Elegant" and "Barn Romantic" are the terms I'm hearing from my clients. Using a ranch or barn for the wedding ceremony or reception and incorporating chandeliers and twinkle lighting will enhance the ceiling into something more than an old barn ceiling. Using soft draping with up lights to make the room feel romantic and warm. Think of using outdoor elements to include branches, lodge pole logs and flower pots. What about using pine cones throughout the theme of the event as place card holders, inside a cylinder surrounding a tall taper candle or just scattered on the table. Use beautiful linens of soft colors or antique lace on an old table to give the room some softness in a rustic atmosphere. Simple contains, mixed and matched of old mason jars, bottles and milk cans will go a long way and can also provide a budget conscience bride with a lot to her room design budget.

No More Cookie Cutter Weddings: I love that brides are telling me of their friends and relatives weddings they've attended and then requesting a wedding completely different. Find ways to make your wedding as unique and special as you are. You want your guests to leave your wedding stating "that was the best wedding I've ever attended". It's not that difficult to come up with the "I've not seen that before" elements to add to your wedding.  Write up a personal note for each and every guests to have at their place setting for dinner; bring in really fun and unusual props for the dancing portion of the evening....fun hats, feather boas, college props of hats and giant fingers and have your college fight song on your IPod  for the band or DJ to play. Come up with a unique way to serve your "signature drink" during the night. We used a ski boot glass to serve the speciality drink for a mountain wedding. Incorporate your favorite sports team(s). For example: I recently had a bride who informed me the importance of a college rival game on the same day as her wedding. We decided to have a longer cocktail hour in a local bar (we bought out for the duration of the game), had the bars' televisions broadcast the game on all the TVs and has special snacks of pizzas, hot dogs, and sliders for the guests to enjoy during the game. Yes, we included both team colors in special MM's favors to the guests to enjoy.

Wedding Welcome Bags

Welcome bags for your wedding guests are a special way to greet your guests as they arrive into town, to thank them, and to inform them of the upcoming events. I'm asked by all my brides if it's necessary to provide guests with welcome bags, and for content suggestions. Here are my thoughts:

1. Contents: Think of location and time of year when considering items to place in your welcome bag. A few must haves include bottled water, a map of the area, itinerary for weekend events, restaurant and activity suggestions, and information on the area where the wedding is being held. An example of this would for high-altitude weddings would be information on the altitude, sun burn risks, as well as a reminder to hydrate. A few additional local items to include in the bag would be sunscreen, lip balm, postcards, food items such as granola bars or crackers, and perhaps local favorites such as gourment cookies from a local bakery. More extravagant suggestions include a personalized CD of music they will hear at the wedding, personalized wine or champagne, or sunglasses for those outdoor weddings. Be creative! Come up with something unique that expresses the personalities of the couple.

2. Cost: Of course, the more elaborate the gift, the more expensive the bag. The bag itself can be paper or cloth, and easily ordered online with your personalized logo. Hotels sometimes have delivery fees ranging from $2-15 per bag. This service is said to be the tip for the bellman to deliver the bag, however we have found that even if the bags are handed to the guests upon check in, the cost remains. A way to avoid these costs is to have the welcome bags at the welcome party or rehearsal dinner to hand out yourself as you greet your guests. Set a budget with regards to your welcome bags, and shop accordingly.

3. Assembly: This is a great time for the bridesmaids to get together with you before the festivities begin. Pizza and wine are a given! The bags can be assembled in a hotel room, or you can ask the hotel if there is an empty meeting or board room you can use. If there's too much going on at your house for a hometown wedding, perhaps a friend or close relative will lend you their living room. Have all your items laid out and organized, and let the assembly line begin! Don't forget tissue paper to line the bags and a tag on the outside of the bag with the couples' names and wedding date, tied onto the bag with color-coordinated ribbon or raffia. Leave room on the tag for the name of the guest and their hotel or address.

4. Who gets the bags?: Of course, all of your out of town guests should receive a welcome bag. If possible, make sure the bag is there before they check in. You do want your guests who live in town to feel equally as welcome, so a welcome bag for them is encouraged as well. Usually one bag per family is sufficient, and if there are children attending, feel free to drop in a couple of children's favorites like packets of gummies and juice boxes.

5. Delivery: It is advised to have the bags delivered to hotels before they guests arrive. Call the hotels ahead of time to inquire as to when they will accept welcome bags for a weekend wedding, and the fees. If the bellman are to deliver the welcome bags, and you have a personalized note in each bag, request the note be outside of the bag in the guest's room for their arrival. If you don't have time to drive to the various hotels to deliver the bags, request a family member or perhaps your wedding planner to take care of this task for you.

Welcome bags don't have to be expensive, and they should not be stressful for you to put together. They are an expense to your budget and you are in no way obligated to provide welcome bags to your guests. If you do choose to do a welcome bag, keep it simple, provide information, and remember that the best welcome you can give your guests is for them to see you happy.

Fun Photobooths

One of the most popular activities at a rehearsal dinner, wedding reception, or any other event is a photobooth! Guests love dressing up in silly accessories and cramming into a photobooth to take pictures with each other.

These photos can play important roles later on: each of the guests can take one of the two copies printed out, or they can leave one of the copies in a basket near the photo booth for the bride and groom to save as keepsakes. Some of our brides have made collages of the photos to hang in their home. Other times, the guests have participated by glueing their own pictures into a scrapbook or onto a poster (Be careful, though,
if the involvement is too detailed, it takes away from the energy of the party and people get turned-off by being pressured into doing an arts and crafts project).

Additionally, the photos are stored on a disk that the newlyweds can keep for all the pictures (as a word of caution, be careful about the pictures you take because they will be on the disk forever).

There are lots of variations on photobooths, each of them tons of fun, and you can choose which one fits your preference on your special day!



Here is an example of pictures from a traditional photobooth (a single compact unit that can fit 2 people comfortably, guests step in and sit down):

There are sometimes fun borders that can be customized to pictures:

Other times, the theme can be used to make a memorable background for pictures. This is an example of a more spacious open-air photobooth that the participants stand in (keep in mind that it takes up more room than the compact photobooth):

It's a good idea to bring funny props for the guests to use in the photobooth (funny hats, boas, etc). This is another example of an open-air photobooth:

At one event at a ranch, we had photographers take Western-style photos in black and white which the guests thought was one of the most fun activities!

Finally, there is a new type of photobooth called a "Photobooth 360" which allows up to 8 people to take an amazing photo together. These photobooths are assembled on-site, and take more space than a traditional photobooth. Gusts enter a tent with a green-screen, and a camera in the middle rotates 360 degrees, capturing almost the full body of each person in the tent. The image is printed on a single strip with a personalized background for the guests to keep.

With these fun photobooth ideas, the memories of using the photobooth will last as long as the pictures will!

Unique Guest Book Ideas!

Although your wedding is only one night, a guest book can make the memories from your special day last forever. Here are some interesting guest book ideas that we have used over the years.

1. Since Vail, Colorado is a popular destination for weddings, oftentimes the guest book will be a Colorado book with breathtaking scenic pictures instead of a traditional guest book.

2. Once, the bride and groom made their own guest book with professional pictures taken from their engagement photo shoot, so guests could look at beautiful pictures of the two of them together while celebrating their marriage!

3. Another fun idea we have used was instead of using a traditional guest book, we tucked postcards (the tables for this wedding were each ski resorts because the bride was a competitive skier, so the postcards were from gorgeous ski areas as well) inside of the napkins along with the menus at the reception for each guest. Pens were placed on the table and guests could write their message to the bride and groom throughout the night at their leisure. On the way out, there was a white mailbox that they would place the postcards in for the bride and groom to read.

4. One very unique guestbook idea that the bride and groom wanted was to have a white boat ladder. People signed the steps and sides of the ladder with markers and now the bride and groom can use their guest book as a decoration for their house!

5. An interesting idea for a guest book was that each guest would write a little letter or postcard to the bride and groom syaing something that they would want the newlyweds to read in one year's time (once again to be placed in a mailbox as the guests left). The bride and groom did not open or read the letters until their one year anniversary when they read all the messages from their guests while sipping on a bottle of wine that they saved, also from the day they got married.

6. A final unique variation on a guestbook was using large beads and a string. Each guest would write a message on a bead and at the end of the night, the kids strung the beads onto string. This made a beautiful string of beads that the couple used decorate their Christmas tree each year. That way, they could relive their fairy-tale wedding day every year during the holidays while in the Christmas spirit!